Sneaking up on someone under the water works better when they aren’t facing you.
These are the kind of shenanegins we get into at pooltime. Rownie’s attempt at the dolphin rodeo.
Mom: I think your phone is here. Maybe in this bag or something. Something in here keeps making noises and beeping and going off and ringing. I told Yeti, Yeti your phone keeps ringing, she says hers is in the car. So it must be yours.
Mom: Well, wow. I bet your sister has called wanting to know about swimming. and you sure get a lot of calls. It makes a lot of different noises. Do you want Yeti to read you your messages or tell you who called?
Mom: well….. Don’t you want to
Me: No, it can wait 45 minutes.
This conversation is so amusing to me. Really it’s kind of sad. It wasn’t that long ago when I would have had her read me those messages. Or even bring it to me. I LOVE this change about me. It says a lot about my anxiety issues too, how much better they are and how much I am in control. Smile.
messthatisjess- what are you doing? Got any Combos? I’m kinda hungry. You know I like the Pizza Pretzel kind. Licorice? Gummy Bears? Anything?
No. Oh, Ok. I’ll just be over here, combing my whiskers and picking my blackheads.
Thanks girls. I just have to get some of this frustration out. I put on the biggest fakest happy face at home, so here I have to have frustration time. Mostly because I know you guys care, genuinely.
What’s funny about this is that I can actually see myself coming out of this even more hardcore than before. Maybe a crazy female deadlifter or something. I’ve always wanted guns for days. Madonna’s arms are so hot. I could be that girl.
I know I’ll be ok. You guys are great. Just what I need and I <3 you for it. Everyday.
Grab your chat mat and gather round kids it’s time for physical therapy chat.
Ugh. Same strength tests all the time. I get it. I went from hardcore badass motherfucker to a wuss who can’t open a jar. Right hand strength is a 5, left hand a 25. Yeah, there’s a difference. Legs are worthless. ”Oh, you can’t feel that when I touch you?”
"No Lady, I can’t feel a pin prick from my toes all the way to my knees." Insert Shock and Awe here.
Let me tell you a bit about my life last summer….. then you will have perspective.
I ran at least three times a week. I participated in 3 5K runs for charity.
I ran a Dirty Girl obstacle mud run.
I rode my bike nightly with the hubby approximately 3 miles.
I hiked through Hocking Hills on vacation.
This was a normal summer for me. I am active.
So, back to yesterday…..
I rode the bike (with pedal straps to keep my feet on) for two minutes. That was about all I could do. At the lowest setting. Ugh. Hang my head.
Squats on the total gym. For two minutes. I was actually better at this than I thought. I am not lacking as much in the upper leg strength, I just need to refine it. That wasn’t so horrible.
Sit down stepper. 3 minutes. 141 steps. Ugh again. I’m like a gramma. What is the a snail race? And exhausted. Wiped out.
Armband pulls- no problem
stretches- suck. I hung my head and thought of all of those years of Yoga. Balancing on my hands in November in class. I have always been the most flexible in class. It’s all gone. That was probably the most disheartening moment.
some stupid twisting weight pull. made me feel dumb bc 1 lb was heavy..
Moral here. I get to feel humiliated 3 times a week. It’s supposed to make me feel better. Look at the progress. See a bright future. I’m sorry, but right now, I see a 3/4 empty glass of whisky, and I’m thinking about just drinking it and sitting at home.
Yes….you can blame the world’s problems on Nargles…..because Luna Lovegood knows her shit.
You see, I thought I forgot my phone this morning, but my instincts were right….. it was the Nargles.